The Video
SOS Help For Parents

Video Leader's Guide and Handouts

Part Two of The SOS Video shows 43 scenes of parents
and children interacting.  The user-friendly Video Leader's
Guide and Handouts will help you to easily guide group
discussion of these scenes.

Each parent-child scene is presented in the Video Leader's
Guide with questions and answers for group discussion.

Error #3 Parents
"accidentally"
reward bad
behavior.

The bad behavior
is making
demands and
disobedience.
The reward is a
material reward
(cookies).

Introductory Comment By Clark:  "Let's look at some more scenes. 
Note the child's behavior and what the parent does.  You decide the rule,
error, or methods of child management each scene demonstrates."

Script:

Mother and Mike are shopping at a grocery store.  Mike demands
cookies and then throws them in the shopping cart.

Questions, Answers, And Comments:

Q:  Which rule or error did mother follow?
A:  Error #3 Parents "accidentally" reward bad behavior.

Q.  What is the bad behavior?
A.  Demanding behavior and disobedience

Q.  What is the reward?
A.  A material reward (cookies) as well as power and control over mother.

Q.  Is the child more or less likely to be demanding and
     disobedient when he wants something in the future?
A.  More likely.

Q.  What should mother have done or said?
     What are some possibilities?  What would you do?
A.  Discuss various alternatives with participants.
(1)  Refuse to keep the cookies and place them back on the shelf. 
However, be prepared to immediately deal with a major power struggle. 
Permitting the son to keep the cookies strengthens his demanding
behavior.

(2)  Before going to the grocery, mother should state her expectations for
his behavior.  She could offer to let him select a treat (such as M & Ms
or cookies) if he behaves at the grocery, but make this offer before going
to the store.  Don't give in after he begins his demanding behavior.

Technical comments:

Scene illustrates positive reinforcement of son's undesirable behavior,
with a material reinforcer.  Mother's behavior of permitting her son to keep
the cookies is negatively reinforced by the son temporarily discontinuing
or lowering the intensity of his aversive demanding behavior.

Rule #3 Punish
some bad
behavior
(but use mild
punishment
only).

The bad behavior
is digging in the
potted plant.The
punishment it
time-out.

Questions, Answers, And Comments:

Notes To Presenter:  This scene will definitely elicit an emotional
reaction regarding time-out from your participants.  Do encourage
participants to express any reservations that they may have regarding
time-out.  Later, consider teaching time-out skills using the kit, SOS
Help for Professionals.

Q:  Which rule or error did mother follow?
A:  Rule #3 Punish some bad behavior (but use mild punishment only).

Q.  What is the bad behavior?
A.  Overturning the potted plant and playing in the dirt.

Q.  What is the punishment?
A.  Time-out, using the SOS rules for placing children two to four years old in time-out.

Q.  How many of you would use time-out on your child, if your
     child became as unhappy as Sarah?

Q.  Is Sarah more or less likely to play with the potted plant
     in the future?
A. Less likely.

Q.  What else should mother have done or said?
A.  Discuss various alternatives with participants.  Have an "after time-out" discussion with Sarah about not playing with the plants.  If this was the first time that she disturbed one of the plants, then a warning would have been sufficient.

Technical comments:

Scene demonstrates punishment of unacceptable "mess making" behavior using time-out.  The SOS rules for placing children two to four years old in time-out were followed.

Trivia:
A couple of months prior to shooting this scene Sarah's mother did in fact place Sarah in time-out for making a mess out of a potted plant.  In arranging this particular scene, Sarah agreed to "pretend a game of time-out," to look for pennies buried in the dirt, and then be placed in time-out.  Evidently, she forgot that everyone was just playing a game of time-out!  The next day, she was ready to return and act in more scenes.  However, she didn't want to do any more time-out scenes!